Wednesday, July 28, 2010

yes im rash, yes i assume a lot, yes i overeact... i know my own flaws and the list doesnt end there... but dont you think that what has happened up to now has made me think that way?


i call you princess, like how you call me little boy... love is blind.. you may have hurt me, but did it matter to me? like most things i've said, it was to make you happy... maybe i shouldnt have called you perfect... what you said is right, we dont know each other well enough.. and thats why i dunno all your positives and negatives. we didnt spend enough time with each other.

if you just want to be friends, im absolutely fine with that. but maybe you should start to find a way to not avoid me. if not, i doubt that friends is even possible. you didnt make mistakes on your own... we made mistakes.. you made mistakes, i made errors.. and we both blindly followed each other's mistakes...

how you let me know isnt important, when i've been finding things out for myself... anyway you're not mean and you're not a coward.. i understand the position you're in. the fact that you found a way to tell me proved that you still had some courage to stand up for yourself and your feelings...


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

remember the rain? let it pour and soak me through....

Sunday, July 18, 2010

*Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there*


how true this is.... everyone has their sweet escape... mine is when i close my eyes... not to dream... when rather to literally escape reality and the truth... and suddenly it seems that the longer i run, the more tired i will be... but how can i stop on endless road to nowhere?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Incomplete - Backstreet Boys


Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you, within me I can find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

Chorus:
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
but You still wonder if we made a big mistake

Chorus:
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete

Bridge:
I don't mean to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go..........

Chorus:
I've try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you what I'm going to be is, incomplete...

Incomplete....


Monday, May 24, 2010

i lie on my bed... my handphone held close to my heart... on its screen it is messages from you... im holding back my tears.. my heart is aching... i long for you... but you've gone so far... physically and mentally... i think of you.... and before i know it, my eyes are filled with tears... my face is wet... i feel drained, dead and really want to scream this pain away... coz its been hiding inside for too long... but i've got to hold it in... coz no matter what i say... no one will understand how i feel....



Saturday, May 15, 2010

so as my 17th birthday draws to a close, it will most likely end the way it started... in tears...


last night, i was lying in bed... thinking that before your birthday you too cried... and that started me thinking about the past days... then, i realised how much sadness and hurt there was inside me and suddenly, i was curled up in a ball, sobbing silently into my hands.. all those built up feelings were let out.. then i read your email... i can continue to write my story... but all those new chapters will have blanks that cant be filled... words that are left out... the story is not continuous.. it doesnt make sense... i guess i will have to find a new plot for my tale...

24 days... its like something has been taken out of my life and it feels so unnatural... its going to be 25 soon... and the end is nowhere in sight...

Where The Story Ends - The Fray

Trying not to lose my head
But I've never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead
Lay my body down on the floor
To forget what I've done
Silhouette 'til the good Lord come

All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

Trying not to lose your own
Boxing up everything, you've got
All you ever knew of home
You're scared scared to see
Your mother there in the door
You wonder, where did the years go?

All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

But this is how the story ends
Or have we just begun
To kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

But this is where the story ends
Or have we just begun
To kiss away the difference?
I know you hate this one

Listen til he's twenty
Last's til twenty one
Rushing past the window
Like he's watching his own son
And sixty years of sorrow
Brought five to six of bliss
Left my mother's mother
Without so much as a kiss


*if there is where the story ends, then this book isnt worth reading.*

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

*oblivious to beauty, lying on the floor shaking*
i've never felt so low in my life... on my birthday... a day to celebrate my bringing into this world... a world of hurt pain and sorrow....

Sunday, April 25, 2010

its the end of an exhausting, cruel week for me.... but what can i say about life for me now? i guess its always been this way for me... starts in hope, ends in nothing... ah the beauty of life..


it doesnt matter what you've done to me... i've put it behind me... its impossible to even imagine that one year ago i was actually so happy.... what's happy? what's not? i cant tell... after a gaming addiction talk and my sudden love for pokemon, i finally realise why i spent this whole weekend playing pokemon... when one has no achievements in reality, he turns to the virtual world to seek a refuge where he is triumphant in every aspect....

but know this, whatever you said, do not take the blame unto yourself... this is no one's fault.... you didnt intentionally hurt me....

extracted from "a place where you belong" by bullet

Too late, too late
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late
Can't even ask you why
And now I'm wasting away
In my on misery
I hope you're finally go,
To a place where you belong